Pause Before I Reply

Pause Before I Reply

Back

FEEDBACK

FEEDBACK

Why did that comment or feedback hurt so much?

Why did that comment or feedback hurt so much?

Why did that comment or feedback hurt so much?

Why did that comment or feedback hurt so much?

ADHD brains can experience hypersensitivity to negative comments, even if constructive, due to intense emotional regulation issues and a lifetime of accumulated negative social feedback.

ADHD brains can experience hypersensitivity to negative comments, even if constructive, due to intense emotional regulation issues and a lifetime of accumulated negative social feedback.

ADHD brains can experience hypersensitivity to negative comments, even if constructive, due to intense emotional regulation issues and a lifetime of accumulated negative social feedback.

ADHD brains can experience hypersensitivity to negative comments, even if constructive, due to intense emotional regulation issues and a lifetime of accumulated negative social feedback.

Pause Before I Reply

Pause Before I Reply

Help Me Sort The Feedback

Help Me Sort The Feedback

Do this with me

1

1

1

Pause — do not reply yet

Pause — do not reply yet

Give your body and emotions a moment to settle before responding.

2

2

2

Separate the facts from the story

Separate the facts from the story

Write down what was actually said and what your brain added to it.

3

3

3

Revisit it when your body has settled

Revisit it when your body has settled

Return to the feedback when you have more room to clarify it.

Quick PowerUp support video for you

A quick feedback reset

A quick feedback reset

Understand what's happening

Why did that comment hurt so much?

Why did that comment hurt so much?

Fast emotional reactivity may make feedback feel threatening. Previous criticism can intensify the present moment.

Defensiveness, withdrawal, or rumination may follow. The impact is real, even when the first interpretation is incomplete.

What helps?

  • Lead with intent and specific facts.

  • Pause if either person is flooded.

  • Reassure the relationship without removing useful feedback.

Helping someone else start

Try saying

Try saying

“I can see that landed hard. Let’s pause, name the impact, and come back to the specific facts once there is more room.”

What helps

What helps

  • Lead with intent and specific facts.

  • Pause if either person is flooded.

  • Reassure the relationship without removing useful feedback.

Avoid

Avoid

  • Replying while flooded.

  • Treating the first interpretation as the full story.

  • Avoiding useful feedback entirely.

Still stuck?

Pause the reply

Pause the reply

Wait until the body has settled before drafting a response.

Name the facts

Name the facts

Separate the words that were said from the story your brain added.

Clarify later

Clarify later

Return to the conversation when there is enough room to clarify the message.

When additional help may be useful

Consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional when these difficulties are frequent, worsening, or significantly affecting work, school, relationships, sleep, or safety. ADHD support can include medication, psychotherapy, behavioural strategies, and practical coaching. Stress, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and other conditions can sometimes create similar difficulties.

Consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional when these difficulties are frequent, worsening, or significantly affecting work, school, relationships, sleep, or safety. ADHD support can include medication, psychotherapy, behavioural strategies, and practical coaching. Stress, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and other conditions can sometimes create similar difficulties.

ADHD PowerUp Cards provide educational and practical support. They do not diagnose ADHD or replace individualized medical or mental‑health care.

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